The superior chef knows to the grain how much salt not to add.
It’s good to have many irons in the fire. Sure, some of them may get burned off. But if you have only one and it burns off, where are you then?
If you presume to go upstairs for tea with the Lord, you’ll maybe get scalded.
When you wake in the morning you feel like you just closed your eyes.
When awake we’re anchored to Earth time. Asleep, we drift by on Heaven’s.
The phone makers keep adding lenses to new phones so the rich flaunt it for awhile.
But this can only go as far. Why not just install a permanent price tag.
You know for sure you’re dead when the trolls quit sniping at you.
"Warming the planet is preventing the next ice age."
Motto of the Head in the Sand Club
Have I a thought I want to save
I must in a book that thought engrave
Or else the wispy will-o-my-mind
Will leave that thought far, far behind
To be a bookmark is a humble job. Unless it’s in the book of eternity.
To do God’s will I must subdue my own will. Then I’ll be ready for the harder task of subduing what I think is God’s will.
All of us praise the patience of Job
Though I’ll not be as noble as he
Lest old Nick points me out and says to the Lord
I bet I can make him curse Thee
Humor is so fluid
It runs by like a river
If you would tell your joke in time
Your wit must be quicksilver
I saw a guy
With a log in his eye
I offered to remove it
No thanks said he
That need not be
I’ve come to rather like it.
Paper was invented to print money on it.
Paper is folded to put money in it.
God is like a feudal lord
Who says that he’ll protect us
He’ll even give us Heaven
But check first the prospectus
That one day in the pews will grow betimes to seven
Awareness of self is the bullet I bit
Oh my goodness today I have been such a shit
If I want to get better, if I want to improve
Get out this rut and find a new groove
We rented a pig house from Airbnb
‘Twas a tasty bacation indubitably
Number of retired officers available to comment on military matters during a war: dime a dozen. Number of commentators with background knowledge of the crisis: precious few.
Conservative tape measures eschew the metric scale and come with instructions in English only. They’ve made their peace however with Arabic numerals.
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