Saturday, March 12, 2011

Seeking Harvard Dropout

Are you a disgruntled Ivy League computer genius who is looking to dump the academic scene as soon as he finds the idea for the next Facebook? Well I have that idea and I am looking for you. (If you are not a disgruntled Ivy Leaguer please stop reading here.) My idea is better than Facebook because it will make its creator incredibly rich. After you and I get filthy we will sell the site to Google so we can spend more time with our families. My idea is based on the rule that the stock market runs on two things: fear and greed. Everyday the market goes up or down. Down, based on reports of oil price increases, war, or tsunamis. Up, based on reports of fewer people filing for unemployment or better than expected sales of Tickle Me Elmo at Target. Your job is to write a program that will predict how the stock price of companies in the major indexes reacts to the daily news. Then we buy or sell that stock based on our findings. We also sell diet ads on the right side of the page. We'll have to start small. I can't afford to pay a salary, but you're free to use my garage and the local convenience store is looking for a night clerk. I've opted for Jeff Bridges to play me in the movie of our spectacular rise. Who do you want?
The working name of our website is NoocyT (tycoon backwards).

3 comments:

Chairman Joe said...

People in the focus group are having trouble with the name Noocyt. Do you say "Nuke it" or "New sit"? Neither of which make sense. One lady said "I always thought "Twitter' was a stupid name. This is right up there."

Joe said...

I'm not an Ivy Leaguer or a computer genius, but I know casting.

Forget Bridges. I suggest that Anne Ramsey play your part - for all kinds of obvious reasons...

Chairman Joe said...

I love Anne Ramsey. It's a shame she'll never tread the boards down here again.