If I Won the Lotto

   The lotto people are doing a survey to see what people fantasize about if they won the lottery.

Lotto Man: Ah-choo

Me: Bless you.

LM: Thank you. Now what would you spend you winnings on if you won the lottery?

Me: Well I'd need at least $271 million to make my dreams come true. Which means I'd need to win $542 million so I could pay the taxes.

LM: You drive a heard bargain. But ok, we'll make an exception. Dream away.

Me: Thanks. First off, I'd pay off my college loans. Get that off my back. Next, I'd buy our ancestral home in Massachusetts. Then I'd fix it up. I'd hire my three siblings who live in the area as caretakers on a rotating basis. I'd build a small amusement park in the back yard then I'd build a pier in front of the house and would run a small ferry to bring tourists down from Boston. One of my grandkids or nephews could run the ferry.
   With the money left over, I'd buy a small movie theater in Paris and show Monty Python and the Holy Grail once a day every day till the money ran out. But I don't play the lottery so I know none of this will ever happen. And that's ok.

Mais, oui!