The Final Countdown

About a year before I retired I went to timeanddate.com and plugged in my last day of work.

  Not a sign of someone giving 110% to his job.

The site calculated exactly how many hours, minutes and seconds to go until my celebratory

Bacon and eggs at Raven Global Hdqts. This was back in the day when my cholesterol was low.

I just now created my own  countdown till Teresa retires, but it’s in salads not seconds.

You see, the bane of my existence is having to make a salad every day for Teresa’s lunch.

Yes I love the girl, and yes it saves us a good $4.00 per day vs. a Subway salad.

But it’s a pain I tell you. And she keeps making little “suggestions,” like

“Couldn’t I have more lettuce?”, or “Couldn’t you make it not so same old same old?”

Who does she think I am? Julia Child?

I have bottles to recycle.

Ennaways, I have come up with the following salad countdown so I can see where I stand.

There are twenty-five weeks till Teresa retires on September 1.

I usually make four salads per week since most weeks she’ll have a pot luck at work one day

or will forget to bring her salad which I make her eat the next day.

So that totals one hundred salads till her celebratory eggs (1) and (turkey) bacon.

Based on the height of my salad containers (from Subway) that’s a stack 20.83 feet tall!

Or to put it in context, .0000222 of the distance between Stonington, Maine and Hull, Mass.

She gagged when I tried to jazz up her salad with Spam.

Oh well, I’ll survive. People are always telling me I sound like a guy with too much time on his hands.

  Easily, I say