Saturday, June 25, 2016

FOR SALE


Comes with doors and a plow

It's a sad day when a man resorts to using his blog for commercial purposes, but I need the money. Two years ago I bought an all terrain vehicle, a Polaris Ranger 570. There's room enough in the front for an adult and two grandchildren. That was the fantasy. We have lived the fantasy and the Ranger sits in the garage, mostly unused. I imagined I would use my Ranger for jobs around the place, or that I would drive it over to my friend Steve's for coffee. But my pickup can do any chore the Ranger can, and it's much more comfortable to drive my car to Steve's.
  So after two years I've decided to cash in my investment. Steve put an ad on the employee website at the Polaris factory and I've been running an ad in the local shopper paper. A couple of people called but they were looking for a model that carries three adults.  I'm not desperate but I do need to advertise more widely. Just this weekend a neighbor who lives along the highway offered to let me put the Ranger in her front yard. Hundreds of cars pass by each day. And then there's this blog. I know of one person who checks daily to see if there's anything new, but he doesn't need a Ranger. I should put a link to my blog on my Facebook page. I have over a hundred friends, only a handful of whom are zombies.

3 comments:

Joe said...

That person especially doesn't need a Ranger that doesn't feature bun warmer seats as standard equipment. However, that person continues to spread the word about this otherwise unbelievable deal!

To quote Peter Schjeldahl, "When we call a thing 'unbelievable,' we're expressing a belief hat it's true. Similarly, we employ 'incredible' to confer credibility, and 'fantastic' to admit facts. We thereby put happy faces on mortifications of our common sense."

This Ranger deal is SO unbelievably, incredibly, fantastic, it defies such linguistic emojification.

You might have better luck if you give her/him a name...

Joe said...

One more thought...you might want to contact the Donald and suggest that you have an item that he could not possibly afford, and one that is simply too difficult for him to learn how to competently operate as President of the United States of America....

Chairman Joe said...

You won't believe this, but the Ranger does have a name: L'il Isla. I picked the thing up on February 21, 2014, the day of our granddaughter's birth. That's street cred for you. Joey will hate me for selling his daughter's namesake ATV but I'll tell him Trump is buying it for a million billion dollars. Fact or fantasy?