Saturday, May 21, 2011

A Few Good Names

It bugs me when people make up names for their babies. It's almost as bad when they ring changes on existing names: Kelly, Kelli. K'Lee. Parents say they want their kids to be unique, but saddling them with a crazy name is as bad as giving them a tattoo for their fifth birthday. According to the Social Security website most parents are sticking with the old standbys. Of the top 10 most popular names in 2010, I would only reject Jayden, Aiden and Madison. Please don't name your kid after a capital city. If a parent insists on a unique name they should look in Luke, chapter 3, which has a slew of great names no one is using. Jesus' step-father of course was Joseph. Great name that. His grandfather was Heli, a name you don't see very often. Very unique. There's another 73 great grandfathers before reaching God. All the classics are there: Levi, Amos, Joshua, Nathan, David, Jesse, Jacob, Issac, Abraham, right on up to Noah, Jared, Seth and Adam. Take your pick. But if those are too mundane, how about Naggai or Joda? Those are names you never hear. Or Neri or Cosam or Eliakim. Then there's Obed and Boaz and Ram and Pharez. Consider Terah and Nahor or Reu and Peleg and there are many, many more like that on Luke's list. The beauty of these names, odd as they may sound, is that they were real people from the bible who are now up in heaven and who will guide and protect your child through life. St. Elmadam would be delighted if someone brought new life to his rusty old name. This list doesn't help girl babies at all. But Mary is a nice name. And Mary has dropped to #109 on the popularity list. Your daughter will be the only Mary in her class and the tattoo options for that name are amazing.

3 comments:

Joe said...

...and maybe not Zamzummims.

Chairman Joe said...

Yeah. Might as well name the kid Phiten Sue.

Joe said...

Grimsvotn!